Even if it wasn’t so much “manipulative”.
I manipulated a whole family to care for me for a bit under 20 years. I believe people call such act “being born”
Jokes aside, that I can think of, getting my ex to ok an open relationship. Ironically, I didn’t go out with any other girls in the meantime.
I have and will continue to make a small number of obvious omissions or minor misspellings in my work when I submit it to my bosses for review. Not in the majority of my work, but mostly when they may have some resistance or hesitation on a course of action or a part of the project.
If I can trick them into contributing to the project by fixing or improving it, they end up feeling ownership of it in a way they wouldn’t have otherwise. I do this on purpose, and turn a hesitater into a champion of the work. It’s our project now!
I ask leading questions that make people think an idea is theirs. Business people love their own ideas. A woman’s? Not so much.
😢
Yeah, it is a bummer. But at this point, I’m old and used to it, and this is the fastest way to get traction on my ideas. 🤷
That’s kinda genius ngl
This is an example of “managing up”. It requires understanding people well, a particular weakness of mine.
Oddly enough I have done this in reverse to Jr members of my team. Amazing the engagement you get when they catch something they see as obvious, and thanking them brings up moral.
In this case it’s “morale.”
Waaaaaaaait a minute…
I work in web dev and one of my jobs is to get you to engage more.
Maybe it’s buy more products.
Maybe it’s read more content.
Maybe it’s click on the button.
Maybe it’s like and subscribe.
Sometimes I do it with good UI. Sometimes I do it with dark patterns. Sometimes I do it by not allowing you to opt out.
I also get data to increase that number based on human behavior.
The worst part – im one of millions of people and companies who are doing this. We are all wanting your attention.
Yeah, but most websites look like garbage, and the first thing I do if I see popups, unblocked ads, or bad design, is close the tab.
Is that intentional?
Not the most manipulative but
Keep a log of the birthdays, hobbies and names of spouses and children of colleagues, managers, team members and customers.
I learnt this from a guy who did executive search. People remember you, when you remember what is important to them.
When I’ve lead teams it’s one of the first things I find out - note down when someone says “yeah Gary that’s my hubby, he’s super into gaming”
- Gary (husband.)
- likes gaming
When you’re a manager, your teams families, partners and friends know your name. Reciprocating that - learning who is important to them - is really important.
To me this seems less like manipulation and more like you put in the effort to not only be a good boss, but a real person.
Every time I need to buy something at work, they ask me to research three options.
I already did the research. I can tell which option is the best one already. So the two alternatives are always more expensive, and I tell them that “the cheap one” will work well enough.
My employer has a “buy American” policy that kicks in for purchases over a certain dollar amount. To get an exemption, you need to identify 2 domestic options and state why they aren’t sufficient.
Recently I needed to replace a module in an existing system that happens to be made by a non-US company. There is literally no valid alternative - only this one company makes the modules that are compatible with each other.
So I had to identify 2 American made products that were vaguely similar and state why they didn’t meet our specifications. Though “Vaguely similar” is a stretch - it was equivalent to explaining to someone why you can’t buy AA batteries to replace a car battery.
Back when I was preparing to propose to my now-fiancee, she figured out very fast exactly where and how I planned on proposing. I didn’t want to change my plans, so I lied my ass off for the next month to convince her that
- There was no way that I could propose on that date because the ring was still in Canada/Michigan/Guam/Pennsylvania/Kansas/Indiana/etc.
- Even if I did, I can’t do it where I wanted to because she’s expecting it now and I am adamant that she be surprised
Kept all my plans the same, had the ring the whole time, everything went according to plan. She was completely suprised!
That said, the stress of keeping a secret for so long apparently wore my immune system down. An hour after putting my ring on her finger, I was suddenly nauseous, exhausted, a bit dizzy, and running a high fever. So now she has extra proof that I will never lie to her.
My wife knew I was going to propose because we went ring shopping together. However, she didn’t know when the ring was to be delivered and so didn’t know my plans. The night I did propose, I took her to a fancyish restaurant; she told me later that she was trying to figure out where I was carrying the ring.
I wasn’t, though. Before taking her to the restaurant, I had consulted a mutual, female friend who said that my wife would be expecting it and I should propose when we got home.
I did so, but before I did, she went upstairs. In my nervousness and excitement, I was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, ring in hand, and failed to notice that she was carrying a stack of laundry as she descended.
And that’s how I proposed to my wife while she was holding a pile of dirty underwear.
edit: I hate it when my client decides to post half a comment without consulting me.
Took me a while but I learned one of my managers is highly likely to shoot down any idea that isn’t his. So during planning sessions I started describing partial ideas and pretending I didn’t know how to solve the last leg of the problem so he could jump in and say, “Oh, what if we did…” Still kind of pisses me off I have to feign ignorance but since I started doing that things have gone way smoother.
