I’m in my early 30’s and I’ve literally always been curious about this. I’ve never in my life had the ability to feel sexual pleasure. I’ve never been on any meds or had any sort of traumatic experiences…it’s just the way I’ve always been even if I try. I’m old enough to say that I’m way beyond simply being a “late bloomer”. It’s just something I’ll never experience.
But it often feels like I’m missing a minor sense like taste or smell or something. Everyone has always raved about the taste of dessert, but I’ve never been able to understand or experience it. Can you describe it in detail it for me? Not just the mental part, but the physical part as well?
Thank you.
Sincerely, An Outsider
Is there an alternative way that I can get the endorphins and elation despite not having the physical sensation? It has always been a goal of mine to feel that despite not being a human like the rest of you.
Per some of the comments above - add urgency, being in / not being in control, exertion are all part of it.
Finishing a half marathon
Attending a concert with 20k other people and singing one of my favourite songs at the top of my lungs
The 30 to 40 seconds after my first experience scuba diving
Surfing, believe it or not. - the feeling of being picked up and pushed forward at the same time, then being in control / out of control and elated at the same time
Dancing in darkness to uplifting music, sometimes even exercising in the dark
Riding downhill trails in the dark (wirh headlight of course)
You’re human. You’re not even the 1000th person I’ve spoken to on the internet, nor the 1st I’ve met in real life that have asked these questions.
As Lauchs said, physical activity is the closest thing. Start with a hike to a mountaintop or swimming if you’re able to. If you aren’t able to do those types of things, perhaps try something less demanding such as table tennis or a jog through a park.
If you continue to be curious about sex, and are open to the idea, consider paying for it. As long as you are safe and wear protection their is no shame in it despite the societal stigma. You might learn something about yourself, despite the lack of physical sensation.
Don’t let other people’s experiences define your humanity. Being human is just part of the human experience. The fact that you felt compelled to ask this question shows a very human sense of curiosity. The way you phrased your question was polite and your explanation for your curiosity was revealing and impassioned. Most of all, the fact that you feel less human than other humans is the most human symptom of all. Humans are amazing at feeling less valuable than their peers based on incredibly specific factors. That’s what makes social media so successful!
Unless you identify as something or someone non-human in which case, I’m sorry to tell you that you’re likely going to spend the rest of your life being misidentified as a human and that’s because humans like to imagine that other things experience the world in human ways and humans like to seek humanity in everything. We’re a weird species, yo.
Don’t worry dude, we’re all humans in different ways.
Being asexual doesn’t make you any less human.