Just cut one in half before you boil it, so it feels Like you are boiling three, but only using two. And one of them is extra-big, so you should feel really excited—like, “Wow, look at how big this one egg is!”

I’ve had that as a framed needlepoint above my stove since the war.

That’s really up to the eggs…

Please send a self-addressed envelope. It will have to be inside another envelope. But that one should have my address—the one on the outside.

I can’t give you my address, but I’m on one of the continents and via process of elimination, you’ll get it eventually.

It might take a while, so you should probably remind me by including a note that you want the boiled eggs.

It might sound like you would end up sending letters asking for eggs to everyone on earth, but unless I’m the last address you send to, that seems pretty unlikely.

I promise fast boiled-egg shipping once I receive the self-addressed envelope (inside the envelope with my address that arrives at my address). You may need to plan to receive other eggs from other people at other addresses, if they respond to your boiled-egg request attempts.

Apologies in advance, I have a policy of not dealing in hollandaise.