Life is like a dramatic river flowing through the rapids.
I have gained so many things in life, and lost them again, and gained others, and lost them again.
I do not predict the future. Let’s wait and see.
This question hurts so much because I’ve lost so much and I have absolutely no way of fixing any of it. I try so hard and I’m so tired of working so much for a total ingrate and having zero to show for it. Things are really, really bad. I see no way to fix anything.
Ingrate
Whats up with that (if you feel safe sharing)
My SO. I work two jobs to keep us barely afloat due to cost of living and the financial wreck he’s landed us in. He’s basically a sociopath and I have no money to leave, despite me working night and day while he watches TV all night, and he does a zillion petty things in exchange for that, including for the last month giving me the silent treatment beyond administrative stuff, throwing potholders at me, shaking his fist in my face for not setting the temperature in the car the way he wants it and threatening to not pay the credit cards in my name, and basically starving my life. There’s a million other things but I’m so numb to it it’s hard to verbalize.
If you’re the one working then why would your SO be able to threaten to not pay bills? Maybe it’s time to change which account your paychecks are going to. Have you considered opening a separate account just for you? Or try taking your name (or theirs) off as many joint accounts as possible. Maybe freezing your credit so nothing else can be opened in your name (assuming you’re in the us)? Are you are legally married to them? If so filing for divorce might be another avenue to talk to a lawyer about. (Most lawyers don’t charge for the initial consultation).
Are there any domestic violence shelters in your vicinity? It truely sounds like you’re in an abusive relationship and being held hostage in your own home. It’s only a matter of time before the violence gradually increases, because nothing you will ever do will appease them long enough to change their minds on how to treat you. Can you record people in your state/country? The us has some states where only one party needs permission to record so giving yourself permission is fully acceptable to begin recording. There are also some apps that can record audio/video when the phone appears off and uploads the video onto the internet.
You do not have to answer any of these questions. This internet stranger is just worried for you and truly hopes you find a safe haven. Regardless of anything else, I’m proud of you for working so hard to better yourself and your circumstances!
I don’t have access to money really. And I can’t leave my dogs. It’s absolutely terrible but I’m well and truly stuck, he’s wrecked my finances.
How do you honestly see things playing out/ending?
I see nothing changing and everything getting gradually worse until I crack.
Ok, then what happens? Theres a point to this, lets take it a bit further
Inclination to trust people after an abuse of loyalty.
I saw a classmate who didn’t appear to have any friends, and I felt bad for them, so I started sitting next to them at the dinner tables and we quickly became friends. I’d only known them for maybe two weeks at most, when they suddenly demanded a large sum of money from me, money which I neither had at the time, and a transaction that my family would not have approved of. I politely declined their request, and their whole personality changed after that.
They got jealous whenever I was talking with my other friends. They started to send me aggressive messages, and started to spread rumours about me, rumours which were not believed due to my good standing with everyone, lack of evidence, and also because of how bizarre they were. I even had people come up to me and tell me, "Elaine, they’re making up stuff about you, what’s going on?"I believe they may have gotten expelled because a few days later they stopped showing up to school.
I think with time it’ll get better, but I’m going to be at least a little suspicious of people. Time will tell.
I’m sorry for your encounter. They were an asshole and it’s not your fault. Such encounters exist, but are rare. I hope you will be able to see that these cases aren’t the “normal scenario”, and not something that you will always have to expect. Hope that helps you :)
